Fellini’s Broadcasters play in Rimini, Italy. Nero is their manager. They’re currently 6-10.
Dublin Laureates Get John Townsend Trowbridge
The prolific author John Townsend Trowbridge, born in 1827, has just signed with the Laureates in the Glorious League. Friends with Whitman and Twain, Townsend spent the last half of his life in Arlington, Massachusetts. He traveled to the South right after the Civil War to interview ordinary folk for his book, The South: A Tour of its Battlefields and Ruined Cities. Guy Vernon is his remarkable verse novel which has gained recent attention. Manager Ronald Reagan was very happy the Laureates were able to secure Townsend, tweeting, “The man who wrote the sweet versed Guy Vernon is ours! He will make an immediate impact on our ball club!”
Napoleon Glad Homer’s Injury Is Not Serious; Auden Continues To Answer Questions
The Corsica Codes, run by Napoleon Bonaparte, favored by many to win the Emperor Division, are currently tied for first place with the Ceilings of Pope Julius II. Napoleon got a bit of a scare though, when his “Ancient Ace,” Homer, complained of shoulder stiffness after pitching the Codes to a 2-1 ‘no decision’ win. Manager Alexander the Great rested Homer for his next start; critic and poet William Logan went to the hill in his place, allowing 2 runs and 6 hits over seven, in a game won by the Codes 3-2, Immanuel “Manny” Kant picking up his third win out of the bullpen. Doctors have cleared Homer to keep pitching.
In another Codes piece of news, W.H. Auden has banged out 5 home runs to tie for the Emperor Division lead with Aeschylus (Madrid Crusaders) and Heine (Paris Goths) and is obviously enjoying playing for Napoleon’s stern and serious ball club. Look at the Codes pitching staff: Homer, Cicero, Hegel, Hesiod, and Kant. Can the genial and low-key Auden (ss) get along with Callimachus (1b), Racine (cf), Villon (rf), Tati-Loutard (c), and Victor Hugo (2b)? The manager Alexander the Great? The owner, Napoleon? Auden’s countrymen, and many Americans, wonder what he’s doing on Napoleon’s club. “I like being on a great team, an historic team. I’m being paid well,” Auden said in a recent interview. Auden’s friends in England and the United States shake their heads when they hear talk like this. Some are absolutely incensed: “Paid well?” “I love all kinds of literature,” Auden tweeted yesterday, “always have.” He’s playing well, and so far, it doesn’t seem like he’s been affected by the criticism. Alexander, the manager, made a simple observation: “Napoleon wants good players. Auden will help us win a title.”
The Codes started off on fire, winning five of their first 6. They’ve cooled a bit recently, and were embarrassed at Madrid, in the Crusaders‘ home park, losing 19-0. Phillis Wheatley, Anne Bradstreet, John Paul II, and Mary Angela Douglas homered for Philip of Spain’s team.
Graves Sent To War, Pessoa To Replace for Strangers
Robert Graves, the starting second baseman for David Lynch’s Strangers, has been traded to J.P. Morgan’s War—for Ben Lerner, Franz Wright, and WS Merwin. Fernando Pessoa will replace Graves in the Strangers starting lineup. “We thought Graves was strange, but he wasn’t strange enough. I don’t think he quite fit in,” said Bram Stoker, the Strangers manager. “We wish him well.” Laura Riding remains on the Strangers, playing shortstop. Both the Strangers and the War play in the Secret Society Division.
Crusaders Sign Handel
The Crusaders of Madrid got a big boost when they signed George Frederick Handel to bolster their pitching staff. JR Tolkien moves to the bullpen. Christopher Columbus, pitching coach for the Crusaders was ecstatic: “This is wonderful. Handel has a fastball around 100 and one of the best curve balls in this league.”
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Emperor League Standings and Leaders
Ceilings 11-5 —–Runs 53, Allowed 37
Codes 11-5 ——Runs 67, Allowed 75
Goths 9-7 ——Runs 82, Allowed 80
Crusaders 6-10 —–Runs 89, Allowed 99
Broadcasters 6-10 —–Runs 58, Allowed 71
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The Ceilings play in Rome. Owner Pope Julius II. Manager, Cardinal Richelieu. Oliver Cromwell, first base coach. Pope Urban VIII, third base coach. Marco Polo, pitching coach.
The Codes play in Corsica. Owner Napoleon Bonaparte. Manager, Alexander the Great. Johann Fichte, first base coach. Napoleon III, third base coach. Julius Caesar, pitching coach.
The Goths play in Paris. Owner Charles X. Manager, Arthur Schopenhauer. Alexander Humboldt, first base coach. Grand Duke Karl August of Saxe-Weimar-Eisenbach, third base coach. Charles de Gaulle, pitching coach.
The Crusaders play in Madrid. Owner Philip II. Manager, Cervantes. Francisco Goya, first base coach. Salvador Dali, third base coach. Christopher Columbus, pitching coach.
The Broadcasters play in Rimini, Italy. Owner Federico Fellini. Manager, Nero. Claudius, first base coach. Augustus, third base coach. Seneca, pitching coach.
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The Broadcasters are the “strange and modern” team in this division. Their starting lineup includes Anne Sexton, Bukowski and Jim Morrison. Mick Jagger. Rilke. Sappho. Celebrities are hanging out in Rimini. Rumor has it Augustus has already complained about this over Nero’s head to Fellini. Although they’ve lost 7 of their last 10, to fall 5 games off the lead in the Emperor Division, the Broadcasters shouldn’t lose hope. They’ve lost a bunch of games by one run, and their pitching has been decent. Nabokov (2-1) tossed a 1 hit shutout. Leopardi, Ben Jonson, and Coleridge have all thrown good games; Valery has been solid out of the pen.
The Ceilings are really the team to watch, with a 2.40 team ERA. J.S. Bach has won three games in relief. John Milton, their ace, has been almost unhittable, and in their latest starts, Ariosto and Swift have thrown shutouts. John Dryden has been almost as consistent as Milton. The run production hasn’t been great, but Edmund “Eddy” Spenser has provided pop from the cleanup spot, and when William Blake and Petrarch at the top of the lineup start getting on base, watch out.
The Codes are getting solid pitching, hitting from Auden, and not much else. They need Victor Hugo to hit, and more consistency throughout their lineup, but they are getting the job done.
The Goths have to be happy with their pitching—Goethe, Chateubriand, Wilde, Baudelaire, AW Schlegel, and the hitting of Sophocles and Heinrich Heine. Their bench is deep. Ronsard had to miss some games at first; Tasso filled in admirably. They are poised to rock this division.
The Crusaders started out slowly, but their ace Thomas Aquinas has won his last two starts and they are now playing .500 ball. Adding Handel to their starting staff is huge. Aeschylus and Anne Bradstreet in the middle of the lineup are killing the ball.
Streaks
last 10, ceilings 7-3
last 10 codes 6-4
last 10 goths 6-4
last 10 crusaders 5-5
last 10 broadcasters 3-7
LEADERS
HR
Aeschylus, Crusaders 5
W.H. Auden, Codes 5
Heinrich Heine, Goths 5
Anne Bradstreet, Crusaders 4
Edmund Spenser, Ceilings 3
Sophocles, Goths 3
Rilke, Broadcasters 2
WINS-Starters
Chauteubriand, Goths 3-0, 3.10 ERA
Milton, Ceilings 2-1, 1.15 ERA
Swift, Ceilings 2-1, 1.40 ERA
Nabokov, Broadcasters 2-1, 3.37 ERA
Aquinas, Crusaders 2-2, 3.45 ERA
Hegel, Codes 2-0, 3.67 ERA
Hesiod, Codes 2-1, 3.75 ERA
Baudelaire, Goths 2-2, 4.05 ERA
Cicero, Codes 2-1, 4.70 ERA
WINS-Relief
Kant, Codes 3-0, 3.99 ERA
Bach, Ceilings 2-2, 4.12 ERA
AW Schlegel, Goths 2-2 4.21 ERA
Poetry Baseball News reporting.