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Patrick Mahomes (in bathrobe) arguably the best NFL quarterback, on TV (with Jake of State Farm).
NFL Football fans: Of course the refs help the Kansas City Chiefs. The NFL needs heroes and dynasties and the NFL works to manufacture those. There are no great teams today because the NFL has made its product scoring-happy and any lousy team can put up a lot of points. The great teams of the past scored 50% to 70% more than their opponents, a staggering, dominating, point differential. The Chiefs this year score about 30% more than their opponents. There’s only one team this year at 40%. The Detroit Lions. 40% isn’t bad. That’s an average win of 30 to 22. The ’85 Bears were 63%. That’s dominating. That’s an average win of 30 to 12. The ’24 Chiefs average about a 24 to 21 victory. Any team can be beaten by any team today. But that doesn’t satisfy the hero worship urge, which is what sports is all about.
So the refs step in.
The response of most fans to this is, “Why do you watch it, then? Leave us alone with your conspiracy theories. You can’t prove it. Go away.” All good points. But two things can be true at once. One can like football and also feel strongly that something worthy has been spoiled. Last time I checked, a desire for reform, transparency, and truth was a virtue.
The refs cheating for the Chiefs is by far the most talked about narrative of the NFL right now. Just when you think it has to stop, it keeps happening. Why? Because it fulfills the most talked about narrative. It gets clicks and views. This is why the NFL, as a very large and smart business, keeps doing it.
Parity is a problem for the hero-worshiping NFL. There’s lots of parity today. Too much of it. The Detroit Lions very well may get ref help, too. I don’t watch thousands of games recording every error in officiating. I have a life. The feds got involved in 2007 because of the New England Patriots’ Spygate scandal. Pats coach Bill Belichick admitted he taped other teams calling their plays. Play-calling can be seen, but not taped and analyzed—which violates the rules, which is why the Pats were fined and denied draft picks. This happened. It wasn’t a conspiracy theory. Belichick is smart. He didn’t say “everybody does it.” He said “I did it better.” He did. Belichick, as he confessed, broke the rule. You can’t film teams in practice, you can’t film their sidelines conveying plays. But the much bigger problem was: the Pats were CAUGHT and, in addition, the Pats were a dynasty at the time, very successful. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell had, around that time, made the NFL legally an “entertainment” entity. Goodell’s first job with the NFL was assistant to Lamar Hunt (the oil man who tried to corner the silver market with his brother and founder and owner of the Kansas City Chiefs—originally in Dallas; they had to leave when the Dallas Cowboys formed). Goodell became the head of the NFL in December of 2001, one month before the infamous Tuck Rule play launched the New England Patriots as the greatest NFL dynasty ever. The Chiefs are the second dynasty in the Goodell era. The problem the NFL had with the Patriots in 2006 was now the dynasty smelled bad. The solution? Make the Pats look so good in 2007 (after Spygate broke) that fans were satisfied this team is SO GREAT— cheating isn’t a part of their success. Again, enter the refs. The “perfect” Pats (with sly officiating help) ran the table in the 2007 season—but wait. The U.S. Congress (remember Arlen Specter?) was closing in. The 2007 Pats were not “perfect” in the post-season because, by then, the NFL was being watched.
Because of the current parity problem in the NFL, real, dominating, dynasties are impossible. Great teams like the ’62 Packers (outscoring their opponents by 64%), ’68 Colts (62%), ’69 Vikings (58%) ’75 Steelers (55%) ’85 Bears (63%) 2000 Ravens (58%) are rare. The 2019 Chiefs were 35% The 24 Lions (the best today) are 40%. The 1970 Lions, who failed in the playoffs, were 40%. The 2007 Pats (their best) were 51% and now teams we admire today, like Joe Burrow’s Bengals, are merely 5%. Today’s Chiefs are 30% But the NFL still needs great teams. But no team dominates. 450 points for and 420 points against is NOT a great team. And that’s all we have today. So the REFS make sure we still have teams that are 16-1 in terms of wins and losses. Parity is a limp balloon. Dynasties = Oxygen. And the hero, a Patrick Mahomes, needs his dynasty. Otherwise fans laugh: “Where are your rings?” This has all been figured out. The hero circus must be fed.
The NFL, we all know, is a rich man’s toy, but unlike baseball, money can’t buy a good team in the NFL—there’s too many complex issues to an NFL team and its 40, 50, 60 man roster. Some of the greatest teams in NFL history have had terribly average QBs.
In fact, QBs are the most overrated creatures in human history. As fans swoon over Josh Allen, Joe Burrow and Patrick Mahomes, (who all average around 40 touchdown passes with less than 10 interceptions) let them take a quick look at the greatest modern NFL teams and this will quickly enlighten them. We have already pointed out that the Patrick Mahomes Chiefs score 30% more than their opponents. The 2000 Ravens scored 58% more than their opponents and humiliated their SB opponent. Their 2 QB were Banks 8 TDs and 8 INT and Dilfer 15 TD and 12 INT (all stats include playoffs). The 1972 Dolphins scored 53% more than their opponents and their QB were Griese 5 TD 5 INT and Morrall 10 TD 8 INT. The 1968 Colts scored 62% more than their opponents and their QB was Morrall 26 TD 17 INT. The 1969 Vikings scored 58% more than their opponents and their QB was Joe Kapp 20 TD 17 INT. These are unquestionably the most dominating teams in modern NFL history. The 85 Bears scored 63% more than their opponents. (The greatest Chief team was 52%, the 1969 Hank Stram coached team. The best the recent Chiefs did was 35% in 2019.) The 85 Bears team who annihilated their SB opponent? QBs McMahon 18 TD 11 INT and Fuller 1 TD 5 INT. The 1962 Packers outscored their opponents by 64%. QB Starr 12 TD and 9 INT. The most dominating 49ers team ever was the 1984 team at 54% —BEFORE Jerry Rice arrived, with Montana’s numbers a rather modest (again, including playoffs) 35 TD and 15 INT with tight end Clark and running back Craig his prime receivers and Tyler (picked up from the Rams) ran at 5.1 yards per carry. I know you starry-eyed fans love to swoon over your QBs—but you do them a disservice. The Buffalo Bills this year outscore their opponents by 30%. Football teams have large rosters. The QB cannot, and will never be able to win a game by himself. If they try, they go down in flames.
There is no New York Yankees in the NFL. No one knows exactly what makes an NFL team, as a team, great. So the question is: How does the rich man make his toy do what he wants? Because we all know the rich man will not be denied. He can’t buy a championship like an owner can in baseball, with Reggie Jackson and Catfish Hunter or Babe Ruth. What’s the secret? What’s the only way the rich man in the NFL can be sure his toy does what he wants? The answer? Shhhh. (The refs)
I don’t watch the Chiefs since I know the Chiefs (the aforementioned founder, Lamar Hunt, also founded the original AFL) are the current Pats (the “dynasty” is the validating coin of any league) and the NFL cheats for them. Or it sure feels like it. As a Ravens fan, I was curious how the Steelers might fare so I lazily switched on the recent Chiefs/Steelers game and the Steelers were down 13-0 but it was still early…pow! pow! pow! Pittsburgh drove down the field for a TD on 3 plays. But wait. The refs claimed there was some kind of “holding” call on Pittsburgh. Saw the replay. It wasn’t holding. And now the Steelers (they had their dynasty “turn” back in the 1970s) lose their touchdown and are back on the 18 yd line. I turned the game off. Do you think the Steelers cared at that point? Everyone knows what’s going on.
The NFL gets away with it because when ref unfairness is posited, this team’s fans call that team’s fans “crybabies.” The “crybaby” cover allows the refs free reign.
It’s a real problem. I’m going to talk to my congressman. If you wish to copy this text and write your congressperson, please do!
Refs are human, I get it. But let’s make them correctable humans. Right now they are kings and queens.
Suggestion: Automatically review every yellow flag. (In the NFL ref penalty flags are NOT reviewable.) And even add this new idea: Allow sidelines (the teams themselves!) to throw yellow flags if something is NOT called. (Fines imposed if this gets out of hand. I can just picture it. A team has just the lost the SB on the final play. If they call for a review of what they feel is “holding” against the other team and lose their appeal, they will be fined a million dollars!)
Let’s be transparent. Let’s be serious. If the NFL is an “entertainment” company and wants to be the WWE that’s fine, too. (We see all those Chief players, and even the Chiefs head coach! on TV, doing State Farm, Subway, Shampoo ads; we all know the by now, famous, Taylor Swift angle.) Just tell us. Otherwise this is gaslighting which literally saps a nation’s strength (Lots of people take football very seriously—it’s a religion, almost—and suffer psychologically from this garbage). Millions have it drilled into them from September to February that no anonymous official (no matter how wrong) can be questioned—ever. Is this good? Is this healthy? For a society?
When there’s a brawl in baseball, umpires don’t award bases or runs based on their subjective opinion of “who started it.” But that’s exactly what refs do in the NFL! Get this. To those who don’t watch football, this will sound unbelievable. If a player celebrates too happily and proudly after a great catch in football, the refs, with impunity, can subtract large chunks of yardage from the “offending” team, giving (depending on the situation) a game-changing advantage to the “offended” club.
If a blocker (whose job it is to block) blocks a defender so effectively that the blocked defender falls down, creating a gap for the runner to run through and score a TD, this score can be not only reversed by any ref, but automatically, according to the rules, the team which scored the TD is marched backwards— “penalized,”—many yards from where the TD play started. This call by the ref (which cannot be questioned by anyone) is based on a sudden, subjective opinion by the ref based on a rule which vaguely states the blocker is not allowed to block too effectively. Blocking is fine, and blocking always involves contact, grabbing, pushing, until there’s too much of that stuff, completely and irrevocably decided subjectively in an instant by the ref. The point here is that due to the nature of how such a penalty is played out, even if the ref is impartial, such a call, or non-call, on the multiple, fast-moving, blocks which occur on every play, especially those involving a touchdown (never mind penalities erasing crucial yardage) cannot fail to make one feel that ref calls are determining the winner—and it’s important to remember in a majority of games a team scores only one or two touchdowns in the entire game or wins by a touchdown or less.
No wonder America has acute yellow flag anxiety. What a way to ruin an American religion. (Or maybe the rule of anonymous officials is part of the religion?)
What finally matters is not that the refs currently favor Mr. Hunt’s Chiefs. The refs have the luxury of not caring. The NFL will start failing KC when the next WWE dynasty comes along. The point is, the refs (or the “New York” replay review office) decide which “State Farm Is There!” team wins. A grand master in chess couldn’t beat anyone if a third party were allowed to move his or her pieces any time the situation warrants it.
This is what refs effectively do when they decide to call “unsportsmanlike” or “illegal hands to the face” penalties during key moments during a game.
The universally accepted need for “rules” is what allows refs, using an extremely lengthy and extremely murky “rulebook,” to effect desired results (for the dynasty, or gambling!) in broad daylight. It’s the perfect crime (impacting billions worth of fortunes) and this crime never gets into popular crime stories.
It’s that perfect.
State Farm is there.