Blaise Pascal blanks the LA Gamers in Dublin. Laureates lead series 2-0.
LAUREATES 1 GAMERS 0
Bob Hope, the Gamers manager, put on a brave face after the game. “We’re going back to LA to play 3 games. I like Los Angeles. Dublin’s cold as hell. Hey, Democritus pitched a hell of a game, didn’t he?” He did. Democritus registered 13 strikeouts, and was untouchable until 2 outs in the ninth when Mirza Ghalib took him deep, breaking the scoreless tie. 1-0 win for the Laureates. Pictures of Charles Dickens, with “I’m Not A Poet. I Just Hit Home Runs” were seen everywhere in Dublin. Dickens didn’t do much. Pop out. Ground out. Two strike outs. Pascal only needed 5 Ks to handcuff the Gamers. “This is why we signed Pascal,” Ronald Reagan, the Laureates manager, said. Pascal joined the Laureates in July, and mostly struggled, with an ERA near 5, in the regular season. The Gamers will call on Charlie Chaplin and Woody Allen next, to get them out of their 2-0 hole. Robert Louis Stevenson and Samuel Johnson will counter for the Laureates.
CRUSADERS 7 UNIVERSE 5
It wasn’t pretty, but Wolfgang Mozart survived a 3 run homer by Bob Dylan to beat the Universe, 7-5, as the Crusaders tied up the series 1-1. Anne Bradstreet was the big bat for Madrid, hitting two home runs. The series now moves to Phoenix. Dylan sneered at Mozart as he rounded the bases after his blast, but the Crusaders pitcher just looked away bashfully and seemed to giggle. Mozart struck out 14 almost effortlessly, his sinking fastball and tempting curve both working to perfection most of the night. Plotinus got the save for Madrid. Bradstreet, who put up MVP numbers during the regular season, was obviously pleased by her performance, but only said, modestly, “I’m so glad the series is tied, now. It would have been terrible to travel to their home park down two to nothing.” Lucien Freud, the Phoenix starter, was knocked out early, and admitted to being star-struck by Mozart. “That pitching was poetry.” But he added, “Give Bob Dylan credit,” he said. “I don’t know how he hit that pitch from Mozart, much less for a home run.”
SECRETS 2 BANNERS 0
Plato has been dominating all year, and he took that domination into the playoffs, as he shut out the Florence Banners in Boston, the Secrets winning game two and tying up the series. Plato beat Percy Shelley, 2-0, as both pitchers struck out 14 hitters. Shelley was chased in the 8th, as Cole Porter broke the scoreless tie with a single, after Nathaniel Hawthorne singled and stole second. Emily Dickinson then doubled in Porter, and that’s all the scoring there was. The series now goes to Florence, where Virgil and da Vinci will match up against Pushkin and Moliere. John Keats, who has the only homer in the series so far, is happy to be on the Banners with his friend, Shelley, but admitted he wanted to play for the Secrets. “I love America. My brother George lived there.”