Scarriet 2020 Poetry Baseball Report on the Emperor Division! Final Results!
Philip’s father, the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, raised his son to have “piety, patience, modesty, and distrust,” and though Philip’s Spanish “Golden Age” in art and literature stretched across the globe, Philip’s coffers were always close to empty while defending the Catholic faith against Muslims to the south, and Protestants to the north—with a relatively small population under his rule.
How did Philip afford the Crusaders?
How was Philip able to lure Beethoven, Mozart, and Handel onto his pitching staff?
The published motto of Philip’s team, “If in my thought I have magnified the Father above the Son, let Him have no mercy on me,” perhaps struck a chord with these devoted and superhuman composers. The Crusaders have neither a famous bullpen nor an expensive, star-filled lineup, but thanks to Madrid’s core of starting pitching, they finished with the third best win total in the league, as champions of the talent-filled Emperor Division—beating out Pope Julius II, Napoleon, Charles X, and Fellini, who populated their clubs with such stars as Homer, Goethe, Coleridge, Hegel, Kant, Hesiod, Cicero, Wilde, Milton, Dryden, Bach, Hugo, Sophocles, Catullus, Heine, Michelangelo, Spenser, Blake, Petrarch, Racine, Auden, Burns, Rilke, and Sappho.
Gerard Manley Hopkins hit lead off for the Crusaders, and led the league with 42 stolen bases. Anne Bradstreet and Aeschylus took low salaries, and drove in runs for Philip’s team; Joyce Kilmer and Phillis Wheatley, who joined Aeschylus in the outfield, contributed just enough, along with Countee Cullen and Saint Ephrem—who hit third, played short, and when he was hurt in late April, was replaced by the poet Mary Angela Douglas (.299 20 homers), who took no salary at all!—and went on a tear, inspiring the team with 14 home runs in May (this was before Mozart and Beethoven joined the club) and she later filled in for Bradstreet at the end of August—and contributed timely hits to provide wins for Beethoven, Mozart and Aquinas.
The Crusaders title is being called a miracle.
Mozart made the difference in the end. He was 5-4, but won his last 6 starts. The Rome Ceilings, the team to beat, struggled in the home stretch, going 3-7, while the Crusaders were going 8-2. In the final series of the season, Milton, ace of the Ceilings, beat the Crusaders and Scarlatti 5-4, bringing the Ceilings to within 2 games of the Crusaders with 3 left to play. The next night, the clincher was won by Mozart—who had previously shut out the Goths and the Codes. Now he shut out the Ceilings for 7 innings (running his scoreless streak to 27) as he beat Dryden 4-1 in Madrid. With the game tied 1-1 in the eighth, Mary Angela Douglas cleared the bases with a 2 out, line drive double, just past the Ceilings’ first baseman, Michelangelo.
Here are the final standings, with team leaders:
Crusaders 85 69 Winner Philip II owner, Miguel de Cervantes manager, Team Leaders: Aeschylus 30 homers, Bradstreet .373, Hopkins 42 SB, Handel 20-5, Beethoven 2.21 ERA
Ceilings 82 72 Pope Julius II owner, Cardinal Richelieu manager, Euripides 27, Petrarch .312, Blake 29 SB, Milton 18-11, Milton 2.53
Codes 78 76 Napoleon owner, Alexander (the Great) manager, V Hugo 37, Walcott .315, Racine 21 SB, Homer 19-7, Homer 3.19
Goths 77 77 Charles X owner, Arthur Schopenhauer manager, Sophocles 35, Heine .299, Catullus 32 SB, Chateaubriand 20-12, Chateaubriand 2.74
Broadcasters 68 86 Fellini owner, Claudius manager, Bobby Burns 32, M Jagger .305, M Jagger 20 SB, Nabokov 16-16, Leopardi 2.91
Next: Winners of Glorious, Society, Peoples, and Modern Divisions! Playoff Previews!