Paul Simon plays right field for the Secrets. He has one homer after sixteen games.
The Secrets and their ace, Edgar Poe (who made a couple of costly fielding errors) lost their first game of the season against the Actors in Westport, Connecticut, 7-2.
But the next day, Plato threw a complete game, three-hit, shutout, and Robert Frost and Carl Sandburg hit back-to-back homers, as the Secrets beat the Actors, 4-0.
Since then, it’s gone back and forth in the early part of the season; currently the first-place Secrets (10-6) hold a one game lead over the Actors (9-7) in the Secret Society Division in the Scarriet Poetry Baseball League.
Naturally, a keen rivalry has developed, the kind one can just feel in the air when these two clubs meet.
Look at the contrasts. Manager for Ben Franklin’s team: George Washington. Manager for the Actors: Johnny Depp. Can you say “two worlds?”
Ben Franklin has assembled a remarkable team. Coaching at first, JFK. Coaching at third, Winfield Scott. The pitching coach, Clarence Thomas. In the bullpen, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe; the closer, Francis Scott Key. In the outfield, Kanye West, Paul Simon, and Nathaniel Hawthorne.
Pitching coach for the Actors? MLK. Coaching at first, Meryl Streep. Coaching at third, Oprah. In the outfield, Marilyn Hacker, Amiri Baraka, and Langston Hughes.
Big names are great. But can they play? Can they do the job? Are they motivated?
If you’re standing in against Lord Byron, who is throwing a hundred miles per hour, no one cares how good a poet or artist you are, much less yourself. You have a split second to prove yourself, or you’re out of there.
Plato will make you look like a fool with his change up. It doesn’t matter how many odes you’ve published, or how many fans you have.
Scarriet Poetry Baseball League is not a vanity project.
This is real.
Neither The Secrets’ Poe nor The Actors’ Byron has won a game yet.
The Secrets owe their success to Plato (3-1, 27 strikeouts, 1.66 ERA).
Chaucer (3-1, 19 strikeouts, 1.55 ERA) also a no. 2 starter, has been just as good for the Actors.
There have no on-field brawls, yet, between these two teams.
The Actors had a good one with David Lynch’s Strangers in Westport, won by the Actors 5-3 against relief pitcher Philip K. Dick, and an even better one in New York, when Chaucer shut out J.P. Morgan’s War for his third win. Other teams tend to get frustrated and “lose their heads” with the Actors, a generally “laid back” team (Byron and Chaucer telling a stream of dirty jokes) and cunning in unseen ways. This is manager Johnny Depp’s mantra; you can always hear him saying to his team, “Don’t lose your head. Let the other team lose its head!”
George Washington’s team, The Secrets, has not yet lost its head.
~~~
The Emperor Division
The Glorious Division
The Secret Society Division THE FOCUS THIS WEEK
The People’s Division
The Modern Division
STANDINGS
Franklin’s Secrets 10-6 —Runs 59, Allowed 53
Weinstein’s Actors 9-7 —Runs 55, Allowed 52
P.T. Barnum’s Animals 8-8 —Runs 66, Allowed 71
J.P. Morgan’s War 7-9 —Runs 73, Allowed 74
David Lynch’s Strangers 6-10 —Runs 43, Allowed 47
LEADERS
HRS
Rimbaud, Strangers 5
Thomas Nashe, Actors 5
Seamus Heaney, Animals 4
Stephen Crane, War 4
Frost, Secrets 2
Sandburg, Secrets 2
Philip Sidney, War 2
Apollinaire, War 2
Robinson Jeffers, Animals 2
Jack Spicer, Animals 2
Rabelais, Strangers 2
WINS
Amy Lowell, Animals 3-0 ERA 2.72
Chaucer, Actors 3-1 1.55 ERA
Plato, Secrets 3-1 1.66 ERA
Shakespeare, War 2-0 3.19 ERA
A Pope, Strangers 2-1 2.41 ERA
Henry Beecher, Actors 2-1 ERA 3.20
F. Nietzsche, Strangers 2-2 ERA 1.90
J. Verne, Animals 2-2 ERA 4.13
Walter Scott, War 2-1 ERA 3.34
Relief Pitching
Thomas Jefferson, Secrets 2-0 ERA 1.06
F. Scott Key, Secrets 2-1 ERA 2.22